Why do women need so many shoes?

Last week I found myself at dinner with a friend of my husband and his girlfriend. OK, let me be honest, she wasn't just his girlfriend. She was also an incredibly beautiful model. Yes, flawless skin, figure-to-die-for and a lovely person. Intimidated? Me? Absolutely!

When you get two women at a dinner table, regardless of their flawless skin, what happens? They talk. About shoes. And there I was thinking I would have absolutely nothing in common with a model.

My husband excused himself from the table. Desperate to talk about something both women could relate to, my husband's friend asked "the question". Why do women need so many pairs of shoes? The eyes in that flawless skin looked into mine and we both turned on him. That poor deluded man visibly shrunk into his seat. The floodgates were open.

The easiest way to explain it was to liken it to his common interest with my husband - cycling. Cycling enthusiasts would agree that when riding in different terrains, you need different types of bikes. Down hill bikes, road riding, mountain biking, cross country. The same goes for shoes. The mall, walking, dinner parties, nightclubs - same deal. Different terrain requires different levels of footwear.

There are basically only a few rules for shoes. Can you walk in them? Dance in them? Will there be grass at the event - if so, stilettos are out. Easy. So why don't guys get it?

Choosing your shoes is an integral part of a woman's day. You have to take into account every type of terrain you will encounter in the next 12 hours, especially as few of us have the luxury of changing during the day. When I was teaching, I would have to think carefully about which shoes would best suit the day's demands. Four classes in a row - ballet pumps were a must. An easy day with little need for walking - heels that were bearable for at least 90-minutes-of-teaching on your feet. However, it doesn't stop there. If you are teaching teenagers, you also need to ponder the current fashions at that time. If wedges are in and you are still wearing two year old square heels, you instantly lose credibility......especially with the girls in your class. You owe it to the young minds of the future to be in style. Nobody wants to spend a year in class with a teacher who wears vinyl zip side loafers.

Considering there are five to six working days in a week, you need at least eighteen pairs of shoes for these situations. The count begins.

Social situations can often be the minefield of every self-respecting shoe diva. You are having dinner with friends so a pair of equally glam heels are a definite must. But after a couple of bottles of Sauvignon Blanc, someone suggests moving onto a club. Can you dance in your heels? If not, there is a crisis on hand. Your choices are either to go home (feigning extreme tiredness on account of the fact that you went shopping today) or suffer through the night, get blisters and have to spend the next week in flip flops. The easiest way to avert this crisis is to wear shoes that can handle dinner out, dancing and still be glamourous.

Shoe count - eighteen pairs (at the very least) for work, five to ten for dinners only, five to ten for dancing. We are already looking at forty pairs which are ABSOLUTELY necessary.

The changing world of fashion must also be accounted for. A true shoe diva must be ready for anything. You need to have wedge heels, round toe, points, kitten heels, slingbacks, flip flops, embellished flats, sports shoes. Taking this into account and the requirements of at least two pairs per style and you are already looking at approximately fifty to sixty pairs of shoes.

I haven't even touched on the world of boots. This is one of the most difficult areas of footwear, especially if you live in a permanently hot and humid climate. The pointy stiletto boots you wore for three weeks during last year's winter in New Zealand just might not cut it for Christmas in England this year. Ammunition such as the latest editions of Vogue, Cosmo and InStyle are now your best defence.

For those non-shoe divas reading this post, you must be thinking how incredibly expensive this can be. How could I possibly support this shoe habit as a non-working wife? Simple really. During our exchange of wedding vows, my husband promised to keep me in shoes for the rest of my life. This vow was made in front of all our friends and family so I have witnesses.

When my husband returned to the dinner table, he politely enquired about what we had been talking about. His friend, visibly in shock, relayed the question. My husband raised his eyebrows, looked straight at him and said, " You have a lot to learn".